WW = Watta Waste
1/10
Author: jnaps098
12 June 2017

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

Zack Snyder strikes again. He wrote the script. It shows!

No character development - this is an origin story. I wanted to see how Diana becomes Wonder woman, what experiences shape her on her journey, is she ever at conflict with her values? There is no single incident that actually affects or moulds her in anyway. Diana is essentially WW at the beginning of the movie. She does not grow into or earn this role. Nothing shapes or impacts her after she is WW either. She falls in love but would she have been a different WW otherwise? NO!

In Iron Man, it took 2/3 of the movie, failures and multiple iterations, for Tony Stark to become Iron Man. His experience in the cave and learning that his weapons are used by terrorists, deeply impact and change him. Spider-man has to live with the guilt of his uncle's death, learn to use his powers, understand the balance of power and responsibility. Thor is born with all the power but it takes a whole movie for him to learn what it means to be a hero. Captain America has to become a leader and earn everyone's respect. Batman, Doctor Strange... there are so many examples of origin stories. The self discovery and growth are not implied, they are core and intrinsic to the story. WW does not have this core - she has an objective which is entirely different. For this reason alone, this movie is an epic fail in my book.

Themyscira: I just hated this in its entirety

- Weird accent. Gal Gadot couldn't fake an American accent, so they had everyone else try to talk like her.

- Young Diana. The primary purpose is to elicit a 'cho chweet' response. She is a demi-god. There is no self discovery... why is she different, stronger than everyone else; how does that affect her?

- The 'train her, don't train her' non-issue. Diana gets combat trained despite her mother (and Queen!) not consenting. The arising conflict should have taken more than 2 lines of dialogue to be resolved. This would have also impacted Diana, her mother didn't want her to learn combat and suddenly wants her to be the best. Why? This is a page right out of Zack Snyder's Martha handbook of resolving issues.

- Fighting. The creative decision was that Amazonians don't fight, they ballet. Every jump, swing from a rope, shooting an arrow, getting off a horse is a dance move. It just looked ridiculous.

Strike a pose: WW literally poses in each and every shot. She has her shoulders pushed back like she is trying to make her shoulder blades meet. It looks unnatural and odd. The poses are the exact same as in BvS. There is...wrists crossed in front of the face, crouching behind the shield, standing in a wide stance and the jumping pose with one knee bent. And they are shot exactly the same as in BvS. They probably just reused clips. They are not poses in the middle of a range of movements. It's pose, pause for 5 secs, next pose, pause for 5, repeat.

Humour: This is not comic relief. They dedicated a continuous 15-20 min segment and it all stems from the cultural differences between the Amazonians and us. The bath scene, sleeping in the boat, the secretary, the clothes trials... all stems from the same issue. It's the same material stretched for 15 mins and frankly gets tiresome.

Villain: In a weak attempt to create twist, the villain is introduced late in the film. There is no time to associate with the character. The villain exists simply as someone to be fought.

Final battle: Visually, this sequence is identical to the doomsday fight in BvS. If someone mashes these 2 scenes up, it will be hard to differentiate one from the other.

The McGuffin: There is no reason given why WW goes into hiding. What is the entire deal with the photograph and the secrecy? There's so much focus on this but it's not resolved.

Gol Gadot: O!M!G! Could there possibly be a better WW? But she's posing and grunting though the entire movie. Very off putting. Her acting skills fluctuate quite a bit too. Perhaps since her character also fluctuates. WW goes from being head strong, doing what SHE wants, to naive and easily persuaded, to emotionally distraught by the horrors of war, to a super hero that's reckless. BTW since she has no clue of the real world, how does she know if she's fighting on the right side? Also considering Amazonians are warriors, for whom battle training is the only form of recreation, why is she horrified by war?

Fight Choreography: Other than the training sequence, the choreography is a close second if not at par with the fights in Captain America 2 but the slow motion ruins it completely. It's not used to accentuate the fight, every punch goes in to slo-mo. If! everything! is! accentuated! nothing! stands! out! This coupled with the grunting just spoils each fight.

Chris Pine: The best thing in the movie by a mile. His is the only character given some depth and Chris Pine did justice to the role.

I understand the cultural, social and contemporary significance of this movie. But that is not reason enough for me to love it. I feel it completely failed to live up to the hype, even though reviews and box office prove contrary. But there may be a silver lining here. All the hype shows the love for WW and how long overdue the movie really is. I'm hoping they are going to make another one soon and I hope it's going to be far better. Isn't that what a superhero movie is about...hope? 

An Unfunny Comedy of Errors
3/10
Author: good-decision from United Kingdom
1 June 2017

*** This review may contain spoilers ***

First of all, I'm a woman and I'm pro gender equality and both men's and women's rights.. and no this is not about armpit hair or female power. I don't think art owes anyone anything. Here's why this movie sucks on its own merits:

1- Out of all the Amazonians in the movie, Gal Gadot looks the weakest and least fight- ready. She could've hit the gym as in her current physique compared to women twice her age in the movie she looks like the one who had to sleep with the coach to make the team. Her having the only Hamstrings that swing like jelly amid a fight scene full of women in their fifties makes you wonder.

2- Choosing the First World War as a background was a horrible idea! I felt I was watching a war movie gone bad. Depressing, ugly, frustrating and sad to watch to the point of distraction. What happened in WWI was too tragic even for a superhero to fix. Terrible juxtaposition insulting the sensibility of any person who read anything of value about that war.

3- The introduction of how brave a child she was, was way too lengthy and culminating into some of the most stupid scenes I've ever watched. All that hogwash about not telling Wonderwoman who she "really" was ends up getting on your nerves.

4- She sees a mortal from earth for the very first time and all the movie has to allude to in their early conversations is his (according to him) "above average" penis??? Come on!

5- She was annoyingly naive! More like wonder sissy not wonder WOMAN. Hissy fits ooh take me to your leader!

6- The God of war, the super evil devil like character she has to fight is an elderly guy completely out of shape and appears to be more like the God of Arthritis. I thought Gods don't age judging by the fact that she doesn't! Only male Gods do? Now that's sexist.

7- I would like to register here my great disdain (eff you Hollywood) for making the villain in the movie someone with a scarred face. So pretty people can't be villains? In fact all the villains are either old, fat or scarred.

8- My second eff you Hollywood moment came when the spy object of wonder "woman"'s (she was a virgin in the movie so please take note) affection decides to save the world by flying away in a plane loaded with all the lethal gas grenades but lo and behold instead of a million sane solutions he decides to commit suicide for the cause making the plane explode in the air with him in it. I thought this is pretty much the same Jihadi principle of heroic suicide!! Bad, bad, bad! Not to mention that such gas would kill people anyway in that nearby village they were banging on about the entire time. I'm not even gonna go over the scientific bullshit this movie is full of and historical inaccuracies, or plain stupidity because boy oh boy that will take all night .. but just one thing because it's really REALLY getting on my nerves... how does a woman stuff a long sword down the back of revealing dress having the blade go all the way down her ass (if that's even possible at all), then a villain wraps his arm around her back to dance without feeling it? Have the idiots who wrote this scene ever held or seen a real sword? Do they know real swords aren't bendy? Wtf?

9- I'm not sure why there was a Red Indian guy in the British barracks helping an English spy. Why Red Indian? Bring in the Chinese community because the actor looks Chinese? Method in the madness or just madness?

10- The fight scenes are lame and boring. Really boring! In one instance they had to speed the frame to make Gadot look like she's doing something and they didn't even bother mask the fact the scene was sped up digitally.

11- If Wonder "woman" kills the god of war making all the German soldiers have an awakening kissing and hugging each other in great relief they just lost (criiiiinnnggggeee moment), how come WWII started only 19 years later? Did they think we will just forget about that one because it's only a movie? Why not choose the background to be WWII so it'll make more sense (if that's even possible for this movie?) ...

12- I felt I was watching an American wrestling WWF show gone really bad... at one point, the men actually give Wonder "woman" a simple leg up for her to fly high in the air to destroy a tower with her bare fist. Which reminds me, my husband needs me to help give his nuclear rocket a piggyback ride into outer space, so I'll talk to you later.


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